Bob's Three Month Cretan Adventure: GREEK RULES OF THE ROAD

Friday, July 18, 2008

GREEK RULES OF THE ROAD

Dear Friends,

When I first arrived back here on Crete, I decided to study the methodology with which Greek motorists operate their vehicles. It took me a while, but I think that I have finally figured out the Greek Rules of the Road:

(1) If you are making a left-hand turn, honk your horn and then turn left...or right if your prefer.

(2) If you are making a right-hand turn, honk your horn and then turn right...or left if you prefer.

(3) If you are preparing to stop, honk your horn, and then keep going.

(4) If you are backing up, honk your horn until you hit something. If you don’t hit anything, then you have not backed up far enough.

(5) If you are passing someone on a narrow two-lane mountain road, honk your horn as you force them off the road and onto the shoulder (or over the cliff, if applicable).

(6) If you come to an intersection that has a “Stop Sign”, honk your horn and then play “chicken”.

(7) If a pedestrian walks out in front of you, honk your horn. If you feel a sudden thump, then you know that you have added another ornament to the grill of your car.

(8) If a dog or cat runs in front of you, honk your horn. Then, pick up the fresh road kill, take it home, and make souvlaki.

(9) If your car’s engine should stall in heavy traffic, honk your horn incessantly. This will make the cars behind you think the fellow in front of you is holding up the traffic.

(10) If you have been drinking, it is alright to go ahead and drive your vehicle. Just make sure that you take along a “Designated Honker”.

(11) If you should happen to see an attractive young woman walking along the sidewalk, honk your horn at her.

(12) If you should happen to see an ugly woman walking along the sidewalk, honk your horn at her as a warning.

(13) And lastly, if your horn is broken, under NO circumstances should you attempt to operate your vehicle – it is unsafe!

Take care, stay well, and let me hear from you.

Your Friend and Fellow “Silent Warrior”,

Bob (DareDevil) Armistead

3 comments:

Unknown said...: Bobby, you forgot to upload photos of the pretty girl, the roadkill, and the souvlaki, and you forgot rule 14. I understand why you missed it because it has nothing to do with a horn. Rule 14: If you come upon a shepard with his flock and you run over one, back up and run over 5 or 6 more. I believe the magic number was 5 or more, but if he has 5 or more of his flock killed it is his fault because he didn't have his flock under control. I believe that Greece is the world leader in importing automobile horns, and rhe leader in exporting unused brake pads. Cheers, and keep 'em coming. Bill Simmons; July 18, 2008 at 1:39 PM
RMFerris said...: Bob,
Your posts have transported us to a place and time that will forever be with us. Each of your shared observations brings us that much closer to the unique feel of Crete and its people. Thanks so much. Roger Ferris; July 18, 2008 at 5:46 PM
mac said...: Bob,I heard that the new drivers training base for INDY 500 drivers may move to Crete...Mac; July 19, 2008 at 1:42 AM

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FIND IRAKLION AIR STATION ON GOOGLE EARTH!

If you download Google Earth on your computer, you can access satellite photos of the base. After downloading Google Earth, go to the empty bloc in the upper left-hand corner of the opening page that has the identification, "Fly To". Then enter the following co-ordinates: 35 19' 46.96N, 25 17' 02.20E in the empty bloc, then either click on the "magnifying glass" icon, or hit "Enter" on your computer. These co-ordinates will take you to the rooftop of the Security Compound on Iraklion Air Station. If you enter: 35 20' 11.60N, 25 04' 11.70E in the empty bloc and then hit "Enter", it will take you to the rooftop of the La Stella Apartments where I am currently staying in the seaside village of Amoudara.

Bob

Excerpts from "ZORBA, THE GREEK", by Nikos Kazantzakis:

"I climbed a hill and looked around. An austere countryside of granite and very hard limestone. Dark carob and silvery olive trees, figs and vines. In the sheltered hollows, orange groves, lemon and medlar trees; near the shore, kitchen gardens. To the south, an expanse of sea, still angry and roaring as it came rushing from Africa to bite into the coast of Crete. Nearby a low, sandy islet flushing rosy pink under the first rays of the sun.

"To my mind, this Cretan countryside resembled good prose, carefully ordered, sober, free from superfluous ornament, powerful and restrained. It expressed all that was necessary with the greatest economy. It had no flippancy, nor artifice about it. It said what it had to say with a manly austerity. But between the severe lines one could discern an unexpected sensitiveness and tenderness; in the sheltered hollows the lemon and orange trees perfumed the air, and from the vastness of the sea emanated an inexhaustible poetry.

" 'Crete,' I murmured. 'Crete...' and my heart beat fast."

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"I was happy. I knew that. While experiencing happiness, we have difficulty in being conscious of it. Only when the happiness is past and we look back on it do we suddenly realize - sometimes with astonishment - how happy we had been. But on this Cretan coast I was experiencing happiness and knew I was happy."

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"I looked at Zorba in the light of the moon and admired the jauntiness and simplicity with which he adapted himself to the world around him, the way his body and soul formed one harmonious whole, and all things - women, bread, water, meat, sleep - blended happily with his flesh and became Zorba. I had never seen such a friendly accord between a man and the universe."

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"How beautiful Crete is...Ah! If only I were an eagle, to admire the whole of Crete from an airy height..."
Nikos Kazantzakis

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Opening remarks made by Bob Armistead at the first Charlie Flight Re-Union

June 22, 2007

WELCOME HOME, “CHARLIE FLIGHT”

"We were the eyes and ears of the United States Air Force Security Service. We served during a time when it was not popular to be in the military; nevertheless, we served, and we served well. We were sent to another part of the world to serve in a country where we had never been, and on an island that some of us had never even heard of. When we arrived on Crete we became the best of friends, but by the time that we left, we had become more like brothers.

"We were sworn to a code of secrecy and silence - never able to share with our families or friends the details of the work that we did. And, consequently, never able to be fully recognized by our country for our contributions, our sacrifices, or our achievements to the cause of freedom and world stability. Some have referred to those of us who served in the Air Force Security Service as "Silent Warriors". I think that is a most fitting and proper title which all of us can wear with dignity and with pride.

"We came from a most diverse background. We were of virtually every race and ethnicity, but to most of us that didn't matter. We were rich and poor and middle class, but most of us just didn't notice. We came from almost every social and cultural background imaginable, but most of us didn’t care. We were Jewish, Protestant, and Catholic, but most of us just chose to worship each in his own way. We were Republicans and Democrats and Independents, but we were always Americans first. We were well educated and not so well educated, but we were all smart. We were farmers, mechanics, store clerks, college students, and construction workers, but we became morse and non-morse intercept operators, analysts, telemetry operators, linguists, code breakers and teletype operators. We were first termers and "lifers". And, if one of us wanted to infuriate one of our peers, we would just call him a "lifer". But in our hearts, each of us had only the highest admiration and most profound respect for those who had chosen to make a career of the Air Force.

"Each of us did a job that was no more important to that of the fellow working next to us, but each was vitally important to the peace and security of the United States and the free world. While the rest of the world slept, we were awake and keeping watch – 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year! Perhaps our legacy is the fact that, while we were on watch, there was never a terrorist attack on the United States! And when our overseas duty was finished, we quietly came home. But none of us returned to the sound of bands playing, crowds cheering, or small schoolchildren waving tiny American flags.

"We smoked a lot, drank way too much, and used language that would make our dads chuckle, and our mothers cringe and blush. We did all of those things that young men do when they're away from home and out on their own for the very first time. We worked hard and played hard. And we laughed a lot. We made fun of everything and everybody. No one was safe and no subject was sacred. We even poked fun at ourselves! We were as different as different could be, but we were all united by a common cause, and stood side by side and shoulder to shoulder. If you took on one of us, you took on all of us. Truly, we were brothers!

"And, then there were the sights and sounds and smells of Crete. Who could forget the odor of Greek cigarettes? When I first arrived on Crete and walked into the old airport terminal, I immediately noticed a yellowish-brown haze that floated in the air like the Angel of Death and smelled like a mixture of smoldering straw and sweaty socks. My first thought was, "My God, these people are smoking marijuana." My second thought was, “Hmmm, wonder if they’ve got any more?” And what about the tiny Greek villages with the white-washed houses that dotted distant mountain sides like small white patches of snow? And do you remember the sound of herds of sheep bleating by the roadside and blocking traffic as they crossed from one side of the road to the other? Then there was the beach that we had nicknamed "twelve point five" because it was exactly 12.5 kilometers east of the base. You would never have even known it was there unless you stopped and walked to the edge of the road and looked over a cliff that dropped down about 60 feet. There was a steep and winding rocky path that led down to the beach - unspoiled and pristine. We spent many a four-day break there - camping out and drinking and cooking over an open fire. When we left, we always made sure that the only thing we left behind was our footprints in the sand. Now even those footprints have long since been washed away by the tides of time just like we were never even there. And then there were the little stands in downtown Iraklion that sold souvlaki for about 5 drachmae. And who could forget Minos wine? Or Ouzo the national drink? It was crystal clear but when you mixed it with water it turned a milky white. Or what about Raki, their equivalent to moonshine? It burned going down...and it burned coming back up. There was no way that stuff would stay on this boy's stomach! One of us even put some in a Zippo lighter...and it lit! And do you remember old Greek men in black knee-length leather boots with their white hair, and their white mustaches that were curled up on the ends; and, old women in their long black dresses and heavy black stockings, and head-scarves that wrapped around their heads and across their mouths hiding wrinkled, toothless smiles? And do you recall the children in the slums of Iraklion - the ones with dirty faces and tattered clothing, but with sparkling dark eyes and smiles as bright and warm as the Cretan sun itself? And how curious they were. They used to look at us like we had just stepped off of a flying saucer! And what about the minoli carts that zipped around Iraklion, and motorscooters that carried Papa, Mama, and two or three little ones hanging on for dear life as they darted in and out of traffic? Or the Greek Orthodox Priests with their long black smocks, dark beards and black cylindrical shaped hats? Do you remember the peak of Mount Ida and how it would be covered with snow until June or even July? And what about the crystal clarity of those turquoise-blue waters of the Mediterranean and Aegean Seas? And do you remember those purple, and lavender and red sunrises that reflected on the early morning waters of the Aegean Sea? Some mornings I used to get up before daybreak and walk down to the base beach with my Nikon camera and just stand in awe and amazement as God put on a spectacular and different show almost every single morning! And who could forget "midnight chow" or the lowering of the Greek and American flags at the end of the workday, and how you had to stand at attention and salute until they were lowered? And what about the music we loved - rock n' roll, blues, soul, country, gospel, and yes, even classical? Then, there was Christmas. On Christmas Eve fifteen or more of us would crowd into someone's room in the barracks and we would listen to Christmas music - Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas", and Elvis singing "Blue Christmas". And we would talk and drink....mostly drink. Each one of us would wear his best artificial smile and try to act like it was no big deal to be away from home and our families on Christmas. But I'm sure that when each of us went back to his own room, each went to bed wondering if our loved ones missed us as much as we missed them. And, I can remember some of the young first-term airmen who were married and living in apartments off base. We thought they were so lucky! Sometimes they would invite several of us single airmen over to a good home-cooked meal prepared by their wives. To you ladies who were there, you will never know just how deeply we appreciated your kindness, your hospitality, and especially your good home cooking!

"But then, gradually it all came to an end. One by one, we left. We left Crete and we left the Air Force, taking with us a few souvenirs and many memories. We returned to our families, and our friends, and the girls we had left behind. We went back to school; we got jobs; we settled down; we began new lives; we got married and we started families of our own. But, we never forgot - we never forgot the Air Force, Crete, "Charlie Flight", or each other. Now, for most of us, we are back together for the first time in about 35 years. We've all changed. For many of us, our hair has turned grey or even white. And for others, it has turned loose! Most of us now have wrinkles when we smile and crow's feet etched at the corners of our eyes. Some of us may walk a little slower; our gait is not quite as lively; and, we may not walk quite as tall or straight as we once did. Some have put on a little weight, and others, well, the weight has just shifted. But if you look deep into our eyes, I mean really, really deep...past the tiredness and beyond the years, you will still notice a certain sparkle when each of us talks about Crete and "Charlie Flight" and each other. Now, we've come back together. Welcome home!"

HERE LIES A SILENT WARRIOR

by Bob Armistead

We served in silence, never breathing a word
Of the things we'd seen, or that which we'd heard.
We worked by a code that few have ever known,
And we served in countries that were far from home.

We left all our friends and familes behind
To perform the work to which we were assigned.
We manned our positions - every hour of every day.
Our work never stopped, and we never did sway.

We did all that was asked and we did it with pride;
We stood shoulder to shoulder and worked side by side.
If I'm ever asked, "Would you do it again?"
I'd just smile and say, "How soon can I begin?"

The time which I've served, I'll never regret.
And the men whom I've known, I'll never forget.
Now time has passed and our hair has turned gray,
And our ranks are thinning with each passing day.

So when my bell tolls for the final time,
And the echoes fade from the very last chime,
And my eyes are closed and I've been laid to rest,
Just be assured that I've served with the best.

Please drape my coffin with the American Flag,
And on top of my casket lay out my dog tag.
With my dog tag as my I.D. and the Flag as my shroud,
I'll go to my grave...an American...and still proud!

I'll trek to that place to join all the others,
My comrades in arms: My sisters, my brothers.
I'll be with my friends who have gone on before
And are waiting for me beyond Death's door.

So, when I'm gone, shed no tears for me,
For I've died as I've lived - an American and Free!
And once I've traveled to my Eternal home,
Just carve the following on my gravestone:

"HERE LIES A SILENT WARRIOR"

Copyrighted 2009

*This poem was written as a tribute to all who have ever served with the U.S. Air Force Security Service, or its subsequent command names.

Bob's Three Month Cretan Adventure