When I first arrived back here on Crete, I decided to study the methodology with which Greek motorists operate their vehicles. It took me a while, but I think that I have finally figured out the Greek Rules of the Road:
(1) If you are making a left-hand turn, honk your horn and then turn left...or right if your prefer.
(2) If you are making a right-hand turn, honk your horn and then turn right...or left if you prefer.
(3) If you are preparing to stop, honk your horn, and then keep going.
(4) If you are backing up, honk your horn until you hit something. If you don’t hit anything, then you have not backed up far enough.
(5) If you are passing someone on a narrow two-lane mountain road, honk your horn as you force them off the road and onto the shoulder (or over the cliff, if applicable).
(6) If you come to an intersection that has a “Stop Sign”, honk your horn and then play “chicken”.
(7) If a pedestrian walks out in front of you, honk your horn. If you feel a sudden thump, then you know that you have added another ornament to the grill of your car.
(8) If a dog or cat runs in front of you, honk your horn. Then, pick up the fresh road kill, take it home, and make souvlaki.
(9) If your car’s engine should stall in heavy traffic, honk your horn incessantly. This will make the cars behind you think the fellow in front of you is holding up the traffic.
(10) If you have been drinking, it is alright to go ahead and drive your vehicle. Just make sure that you take along a “Designated Honker”.
(11) If you should happen to see an attractive young woman walking along the sidewalk, honk your horn at her.
(12) If you should happen to see an ugly woman walking along the sidewalk, honk your horn at her as a warning.
(13) And lastly, if your horn is broken, under NO circumstances should you attempt to operate your vehicle – it is unsafe!
Take care, stay well, and let me hear from you.
Your Friend and Fellow “Silent Warrior”,