Monday, March 3, 2008

IF YOU SHOULD GO...

Dear Friends,

Well, here I am...just one month, 29 days until I board that big silver bird and go streaking across the friendly skies toward the land of Greek myths, gods and goddesses, Ouzo, and souvlaki. Crete has become my Mecca, and my trip has become a hadj.

I have just about completed my shopping in preparation for my trip to Crete, but there are some things that I would like to share with you in the event that one day you decide to make the pilgrimage back to Crete. First, make sure that you are in possession of a valid passport, and that the expiration date of your passport does not occur until after your return to the good ole USA. If you should decide to carry any electrical or electronic devices with you, take an electrical current converter/adapter along. Most European countries use 220 volt wall current. If you plug your electric razor into one of their electrical outlets it will melt in your hand and burn the whiskers right off your face, and you will also probably pee in your pants and forget who you are for about 30 minutes! Wal-Mart sells these converters for about $20.00. Not only do they convert 220 volt current down to 110 volt, but the package also contains various adapter plugs to accommodate most European electrical outlets. So, unless you want to be found wandering aimlessly through the streets of Crete with a singed face and wet pants, not knowing who or where you are, I would strongly advise taking one of these electrical current converters/adapters with you. I am taking two of them with me. One of the mistakes that travelers often make is that they either take too much of an item with them, or not enough. I had no idea how much spray deodorant or toothpaste to take with me for my three month stay on Crete...so, I conducted a very scientific test: I bought a tube of Crest toothpaste and a can of Right Guard deodorant and taped the date that I began using them to the side of the tube and the can. I discovered that a can of Right Guard will last just under two months, while a large tube of Crest toothpaste will last a little more than two months. Hence, for my three month trek to Crete, I am taking 2 tubes of Crest and 2 cans of Right Guard. I want to have a bright smile and smell good just in case I should happen to bump into Aphrodite (the mythical Greek goddess of love & beauty). If you are taking a digital camera and a laptop computer with you and are staying for an extended period of time, you might want to consider taking an external hard drive on which to store your photos. My son bought me a 500 gigabyte external hard drive which should have enough storage space for all of my photos, plus room for the names of every man, woman and child in Greece, the dates of their birthdays, along with the names of their pets. Also, take plenty of memory cards for your digital cameras. When you travel to Greece/Crete make sure that your prescription medicines are in their original bottles, and that the prescription is not outdated or expired. You do NOT want to land in a Greek jail for any type of drug offence. Remember: Even in Greece there are men named Bubba, and you don't want to wind up sharing a jail cell with one of them! I am also taking a small travel steam iron with me which I bought at Wal-Mart for about $20.00. It is light-weight and has dual voltage for use in Europe. It does not come with an adapter plug, but if you buy the electrical current converter/adapter previously mentioned in this post, then you can use one of the plug adapters to match your steam iron with the electrical outlet. It is made by Black & Decker Tool Company and also doubles as a drill in case you need to bore your way out of your jail cell to escape from Bubba (just kidding!). Don't forget to take enough of your daily vitamins and a bottle of your favorite headache medicine with you (they may not have your brand on Crete). I am also taking a laundry bag with me so that I will have something in which to carry my dirty clothes to the laundry, and a small travel alarm clock, so that I can see how long that I have overslept! Before I depart I will have a new battery installed in my watch and buy a battery powered beard and mustache trimmer. I will wear one pair of tennis shoes and have a second pair of tennis shoes and a pair of lightweight hiking boots packed in my luggage. If you wear glasses or contact lenses, make sure that you carry a spare pair with you - you want to make sure that you can see clearly when you have to pick Bubba out of the police lineup after he has assaulted you!

O.K. Yes, you've guessed it! I have been sippin' on a little too much Southern Comfort tonight! I hope that you have had as much fun and as many laughs reading this entry, as I have had writing it!

Take care, stay well, and let me hear from you.

Your Friend and Fellow "Silent Warrior",

Bob (a.k.a. Midget, Bobby)

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