Dear Friends,
I know we have all heard the expression, “I thought
I had seen and heard it all until...”
Well, I have now joined the ranks of those who have used that
expression.
Before sharing my tale with you, I feel compelled to
first give you some background information.
The little apartment building in which I always stay for my annual three
month visit to Crete is located in the small seaside village of Amoudara and is
only about six kilometers to the west of Iraklion (Heraklion). The building has about nine or ten apartments
and is owned by my landlords, Nikitas and Stella. My apartment is located on the ground floor and
is situated in almost dead center of the building. When I am in the apartment, I almost always
leave my front door and my front window open.
This permits the air to circulate and I only close the door and window
when it is oppressively hot and there is a need to turn the air conditioner on
or when I leave my apartment.
When I am in my apartment, I am quite frequently at
my computer which sits on my little dinette table and is clearly visible from
the street by passers by. It is not
uncommon for those who pass by my apartment and who see me typing away to
mistakenly think that my apartment is actually the office for the little apartment
building. And, on occasions too numerous
to count, I have had complete strangers to walk right into my apartment and
inquire about the availability or rates for apartments there. When I explain that my apartment is not the
office they all have apologized for the intrusion and then politely backed out
of my apartment. Now that I have laid
the groundwork details, I can proceed with my story:
It was about 10:30 PM one evening around the middle
of September of 2012 when I was in my apartment and sitting at my
computer. I was surprised when I heard
the sound of footsteps moving across my patio toward my door. I knew that none of my friends on Crete would
be visiting me at so late an hour, so I just assumed that it was someone who
mistakenly thought that my apartment was the office. A young woman of about thirty years of age
briefly paused at the threshold of my door before stepping out of the night and
boldly into my apartment and walking over to the table where I sat at my
computer. With a heavy Greek accent she
asked, “How would you like to have all of this for only fifty Euros?” and then
she made a sweeping motion with both hands moving down either side of her body
from just under her armpits to about mid-thigh.
I couldn’t believe my ears! I
looked at her and responded, “Lady, I wouldn’t give you five Euros for all of
that!” Her eyes widened in a combination
of disbelief and consternation as she turned and stormed out of my apartment
and back into the black of night. I was
somewhat pleased with the ease at which I had I dispatched her so quickly. I turned my attention back to my computer and
resumed typing. However, my relief was
only short-lived. In less than five
minutes, I once again heard the now-familiar footsteps on my patio moving
toward my door. It was the same
woman. This time she didn’t pause before
stepping into my apartment and approaching me at my table. She spoke, saying, “The price has just gone
down. Now, you can have all of this for only
twenty Euros,” she said, almost as if she were promoting a "K-Mart blue light special" and once again motioning with her hands down either side of her body. With a stern look of
determination, I said, “You are right.
The price has just gone down. I
wouldn’t give you one Euro for all of that!”
She slammed her foot down on my apartment floor and then stomped angrily
out of my apartment, across my patio and disappeared into the warm Cretan
evening. I smugly smiled at my choice of
words and felt that I had dealt with this “lady” in such a manner that she
would be unlikely to visit me again!
The following afternoon, I had gone down the street
to Popi’s little taverna on the beach to meet my friends and have a beer or two
and perhaps a shot of raki (Cretan moonshine!) with them. After having a beer with my friends I
recounted the events of the previous evening.
They all laughed and joked at the choice of words I had used to persuade
the “lady” that I was completely uninterested in her “generous” offer. We had a couple more Mythos beers and then
the raki began to flow. Usually I only
have two raki’s after a couple of beers, but this evening it seemed that every
time I left my chair to go to the restroom or when I briefly turned my back, my
little shot glass would mysteriously refill with raki. I am not really certain how many of those
tiny glasses of raki I had, but however many it was...it was waaaaaay too
many! When I left Popi’s that evening, I
was feeling no pain...it might even be said that I was just a little more than
pickled! Upon arrival at my apartment, I
opened my door and window before seating myself at my computer and then making
a feeble attempt to boot it up. However,
at some point before I was able to successfully get it turned on, I slipped
into what could only be called a state of “twilight” – not awake, nor asleep –
not completely drunk, nor completely sober either...I had entered into the
alcohol equivalent of “The Twilight Zone”.
I am not sure how long it was that I sat slumped over at my computer,
but I was roused from my state of half-sleep by the sound of a familiar woman’s
voice with a Greek accent. “You know,
you should never leave your door open like this. It is not safe.” It was the same “lady” who had offered her
services the previous evening. I was a
little startled and not really knowing what to say, I stammered, “Uh,
yeah. Right.” With that she turned and evaporated into the
night like an evening fog. I sat there
for several moments trying to rid the cobwebs from inside my head and
attempting to understand what had just happened. In only a matter of seconds my head began to
clear and it was then that I wondered just how long she had been inside my
apartment. I left my chair and moved
around the partition that separated my little bedroom from the rest of my
apartment. I always kept my billfold and
my passport on the ledge of the side of the partition facing my bedroom. I stood in absolute horror as I realized that
my billfold was GONE!!! I immediately
raced from my apartment, across my patio, and into the middle of the
street. I turned right and ran down the
narrow street in the direction of the beach, looking down little side streets
as I went, hoping to catch a glimpse of the thief. Upon arriving at the beach and not seeing
her, I retraced my route back up the same street, past my apartment to the main
street that passes through the middle of the village of Amoudara. I looked to the right down the sidewalk and
then the left. Not seeing her, I
hastily made my way back to my little apartment while muttering choice words along
the way, mostly aimed at myself. Upon re-entering
my apartment, I saw my billfold lying on the sofa. I never place my billfold on the sofa, so I
expected only the worst. When I opened
it, I found that it was completely devoid of all money and that my ample supply
of bus tickets had also disappeared.
Fortunately, I only had between 70 and 120 Euros in my billfold; the
rest were securely locked away in the wall safe in my apartment. While I was angry, both at myself and the “Lady
of the Night”, I also felt that I had been violated and that my Crete had lost
some of its innocence.
The next afternoon, I went back to Popi’s little
taverna down by the beach. My friends
were all assembled there and after a cold Mythos beer, I recounted to them what
had transpired the previous evening with the “Lady of the Night”. My friends were appalled at the audacity of
the woman and concluded that she must have been a true professional and had
most likely committed this act many times before. I
completely agreed with their assessment.
Then, one of my friends, smiling, said, “You know, Bobby, you probably
would have come out ahead if you had just accepted her discounted offer of only
20 Euros when she re-entered your
apartment that first night.” All of my
friends couldn’t help but laugh, and I couldn’t resist joining in either. After all, 20 Euros would have been a lot
less than 70 to 120 Euros! LOL.
Your Friend and Fellow “Silent Warrior”,
Bobby (Bob) Armistead
Bobby (Bob) Armistead
